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"Wait a minute and hear me out before you say anything, Rocky," she pleaded.Rocky nodded his head and held his tongue. When she started talking again, what she said floored him."I know you love me Rocky, despite everything. The question is, do you love Maria, too?"The question rocked him back in his chair. He darted a look at Maria, but she had her head down and the mass of her thick black hair hid her face. He turned his gaze on Carrie and as was his nature, he told the truth. What Carrie didn't realize was that Rocky had his own epiphany when he heard Carrie's question. Up until that moment he couldn't admit to himself that he'd fallen in love with Maria as well."Yes, God help me, I love her and not as a daughter like I once told you. I love her, but I don't plan to take advantage of her or her position as my employee. You know I'd never do anything like that, Carrie."Rocky steeled himself for her wrath but what she said was nothing he expected or could have imagined. Carrie smiled. However, I am not one who sees gender as either/or. I think that we all have a different combination of both male and female characteristics. Some people lean more to one or the other end of the spectrum but just because they perceive themselves that way does not mean that they are incapable of experiencing the other side of the spectrum. Now it seems like my feelings are coming full circle. Don’t ask me what that means exactly, because I don’t really know. I’m still not interested in men the way I used to be, but I dont’ feel the same anger. I can appreciate men who have admirable and positive masculine qualities although that is not generally what attracts me. I am generally more attracted to men who are able to express feminine qualities whether they consider themselves effeminate or not. I think that my center has changed many times since I was younger. Some people think that people always remain the same, but I’ve never experienced myself in that way. I think that I’m very fluid.
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